Good morning, my lovely readers! I am up quite early for sleep did not come tonight. We went to bed around 10ish and I just laid there for a couple of hours. So I thought I would get up and get a drink, thinking that would help. No… And before I knew it, 2am was here. I have had a lot of trouble sleeping these past few months and had been going to bed and waking up, wide awake, about 2-2:30. It totally isn’t fun. Frankly, it is a miserable existence. I have insomnia, but it has never been this bad.
I was still wide awake at 2:30am, so I said
f screw it and made myself coffee. I figured I would be waking up soon, even if I did manage to sleep
and I didn’t want to disturb Chris. He has to get up and go to work in the morning and work all day into the evening, whereas I have the luxury of taking a nap. Convalescing is so not kool. It is a miserable lot in life for sure.
I had thought I had did all my preparations for sleep correctly. I had had a warm bath, my medicines, prayed, kissed Chris and Isabelle good night and even made sure I had a nice pile of dust going on, but…the sandman never came 😦
I cannot remember a time when I did sleep at night. I barely remember times years ago during college that I could sleep in. Until 11am in fact. But those days have long since slipped away.
So I continue to live vicariously with the night, as if I am one with the darkness. There is so much that can be done during this time, although what I really want to, sewing and crafts, are tucked away in the bedroom. When we move to our new place, I hope to have a room of my own so I won’t disturb anyone and I am free to pursue whatever during times like these so I don’t have to tiptoe around. There is no better time than the present to make some blog posts, considering I have recommitted to The Backwater Primer and Justin will be here with us this weekend so no laptop. So here I sit, next to Isabelle who has come out to join me, whilst I blog and watch some tv on Hulu.
I also have the fear of turning out like this lady in the morningtime. There are times when I do, but if I drink a good combination of Pepsi and coffee, I can usually maintain some form of human function in one way or another into early afternoon, but then I crash.
So, as I sit here, wide awake, with my second cup of coffee, a cigarette, and watching Hulu, I hope and pray that maybe I will get lucky and be quite tired in the morningtime so that after Chris goes to work, that I will be able to go lie down until about 11am and be able to get up rested and ready for the rest of the day.
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Hopefully I will see you on the rested side next time…
Have a great Friday!